MonkeyGirl

whereIstand member

About MonkeyGirl

I have the attention span of a gnat and no tolerance for stupidity. Which means that working night shift in the ER is both a blessing and a curse.

Musings of a Highly Trained Monkey

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1 to 15 of 160

Wednesday, September 3

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

I *heart* Dilbert!

The vast majority of the things I do on a daily basis merely require opposable thumbs. But the sarcasm..... now THAT'S a gift! Posted by MonkeyGirl at 04:15 I' am printing that shit ...

9/3/2008 6:17:14 AM

Monday, September 1

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

I have a question.

I just came from ER Stories, where I was a little late to the feeding frenzy that occured in the comments section.It was the same old story, "You are evil and uncaring, you should get another job, bla...

9/1/2008 3:53:22 PM

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

I had a very realistic dream about zombies invading my house last night.You will be happy to know that I survived.When I woke up, I realized that I didn't remember the combination to the ammo safe (g...

9/1/2008 11:24:27 AM

August 20

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Green stuff should not come out of any of your bodily orifices.Not your lungs, not your bowels, and not your vagina.And if it is coming out of the latter, and it is the third time in the last year tha...

8/20/2008 3:19:54 PM

August 14

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

It's like Magic!

When I took the crazy guy in room 11's vitals at 0330, he had a full urinal.When I brought him a new urinal and a Coke at 0345, he had an empty urinal.There was no puddle on the bed or floor.I didn't ...

8/14/2008 9:11:52 AM

August 11

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Rehab

I took care of a 65 year old gentleman the other day that had a stroke 3 months ago. It left him unable to feel or move most of his left side.He had a lump on his left calf, and since he couldn't tell...

8/11/2008 6:32:51 AM

August 8

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

I just wanted to share with you a visual and olfactory image that I hope will stay with you for at least an hour.GI bleed poo...... with corn.Be glad you weren't there.Have a nice weekend.

8/8/2008 10:54:19 AM

August 6

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Jesus came to the ER last night.He was strapped to a backboard, bloody and battered, after he jumped from a moving car.He was shouting at the top of his lungs, "I am the Lord, Jesus Christ! I see ever...

8/6/2008 12:45:29 AM

August 3

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

She comes in more often than she should. Her body is a mass of bedsores and contractures. She is permanently folded into the fetal position.She doesn't speak. She simply moans. Sometimes I'm glad tha...

8/3/2008 9:32:03 AM

July 30

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Just in case you were wondering.....

This is my blog:This is me:Be back soon. (Of course, I work in an ER, so 'soon' is a relative term.)

7/30/2008 6:27:58 AM

July 14

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

The great internet embargo of 2008

Those of you that visit on a regular basis will not be surprised to hear that I'm considering hanging it up for good. I'm pretty sure that the lack of quality posting has not escaped your notice.Fran...

7/14/2008 4:34:13 AM

July 12

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

I *heart* Dilbert!

The vast majority of the things I do on a daily basis merely require opposable thumbs. But the sarcasm..... now THAT'S a gift! Posted by MonkeyGirl at 17:04 Post a Comment

7/12/2008 7:06:00 PM

July 11

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Just in case you were wondering, if you are a 41 year old man, and you drink a bottle of bourbon, smoke a joint or two, and try to break into your ex-wife's house (who has a restraining order against ...

7/11/2008 3:12:43 AM

July 9

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

The $85.00 Diet Dr. Pepper

Monday was the Brat's 7th birthday, so we took her to the Zoo in the Big City 3 Hours Away, instead of our usual trip to the Zoo in the Big City 1 Hour Away. We stayed overnight at a "Bestern Western"...

7/9/2008 12:37:40 PM

July 6

MonkeyGirl published a blog entry.

Foley catheter woes

I was drawing grody pee out of the port of a nursing home foley with a needle, you know, the ones without a luer lock for pee removal, and the gorked old lady kicked the syringe, causing the needle to...

7/6/2008 4:45:50 AM

1 to 15 of 160